Sunday, October 12, 2008
splendid isolation. what a fuck?
My personally created isolation. How to solve this problem, when eveyone seems so far away and all human contacts seem to be impossible. Where to start? Not from the beginning as it is ruined, but how to fix it, when the basis is rotten? How to survive, when the only thing you have is your soul. And I can not stop stressing that it is the only bloody thing I have. Of course there is G., but this illusion can not last long. They say that isolation is individualism, but how come it is killing me then...
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I feel isolated many times.
I got no many friends, but i don't know if i want friends.
I do need friends sometimes but i don't know if i can be a good friend for them. So i choose not to have.
I feel lonely, but i'm used to it.
Is that because i couldn't fight it or is it because i wanted it.
Do i really like to be alone deep inside me?
I find myself being so closed, so even i can't feel what i'm feeling.
OK, this monologue is going too far, you could say its a conversation between me and myself written down.
Considering that its not my blog, i stop here.
I feel you H.
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